Often I don’t know what I’m doing. It’s not of any fault on my own part. It’s just that planning evades me. I think because of enough of this, I’ve just felt left out of the general happiness that everyone else feels from existence. Do I just not care that much? Doesn’t seem fair to my parents. I wonder why is it that this has therefore promoted a lot of my own loneliness and despair. This is drawn from a general laziness that I have to admit is bothersome. I wonder why is it it took me this long to get it. God, I feel like an absolute dipshit all the time