A lot of factors in life hurt me easily. The dust on a sweater. The scrape of a pencil. The distance of a goddess. These small details and more are the makings of a life in perspective, with an end in the sight of no one but the future dead man walking. As I’ve had to be reminded, I don’t plan to take my final breath until I take my first stairwell somersault. (On a wheelchair.) I tend to see a lot of the workings around my existence as uber important when really they amount to nothing. “But someone surely should care about the way ‘pull’ in Spanish is spelt without an ‘H’ in sight!” Nonsense, they tell me. Foolish, they tell me. Well, excuse me for elaborating on my mental health, but if it’s an evident signal of distress at best, than certainly you cannot dismiss that in the grander scheme of things. Do you know what was nonsense? Do you know what was foolish? The people who ignored Dahmer when deep down they had a hunch that he needed some special type of help. Instead of addressing his in inconsistencies, they capitalized on his weaknesses. Which in general, isn’t the right thing to do. But whatever. I’m not bent on killing anyone. I’m lazy and inexperienced. All I’m really trying to say is what a majority considers ill may be what the minority of the population considers ill… As in “cool.” I do what I do because I love the endgame of it as well as the flow of the process. Whatever, if a typewriter causes internal bleeding in my fingers; I’m still going to write somehow. Joyously or not, the job has to be done. Even my eyes hurt. Longing to open the floodgates and bawl about how much I’ve lost for how little I’ve earned.But it’s all worth it in the end if you can imagine that kernel of thought making a world of a difference. (Never was the best at mathematics but I sure as heck can add up my ABCs.)Often when I breathe, the most off-putting factor is that of the snot in my nostrils. I think of these nuggets clinging to my nose hair as bothersome and frankly annoying to say the most. (This doesn’t have to be an outlet for obscene malpractise.) But what always prevails for me in that case is quite frankly the way I can sneeze out the bad and replace it with goodness. Oh, it’s a delight indeed to have no fear of the clingers in there. Never mind the complacency to echo the trumpet of an elephant when your sneeze, I’m more worried about my fixation on women older and shorter than I. Why should they get a peek of my boogers? Nary a care of when or where they deserve to pull on that short nose hair. They would have to cling on something much stronger to advance in the tactical specialties of me. Something like my heartstrings would have to be climbed upon like an impossible rope in gym class if ever they are to navigate my idiot mind at it’s finest and ring a dingy bell up there beyond all hell. I smell like a buscador. Eager to search for something more. Concepts beyond conception. Hoping, praying, wishing, for continued consistency. Under my contingency. Clamoring discrepancy. Is all I can claim ever flippantly. There’s a truth. There’s a bright light. Hanging over loads of strife. Dangerous and wading in the rapids, freaking waiting for a beacon of truth to uncover this blunder in bluffs. Ain’t it tough? Not enough. It’s a ruckus you should trust if you’re gonna make a dent on this planet’s core. Don’t have drive? Say no more. The human race can do better than that epidermis you call a blizzard bearing sweater. Numbers tell you where you’re going, or rather where you’ll begin. Taking moments from your life to dig your talents ain’t a sin. It’s a gift to swallow pride and look at art unbiased. And I’m gonna stop rhyming. Shame on you if you never tried to do that. It’s fun and while I was hurt in the past at how individuals had a dislike of such behaviour, I find beauty in it like so many other things indefinitely. Just today, I was listening to Comedy Bang Bang and I had no idea that this game of “What Am I Thinking” ever was a thing! It’s where two people repeat the one-word thoughts in their head over and over until they match thoughts. It can go on thrice… It can go on longer. And while I may introduce this concept to some individuals and totally bizarre them out, certainly in my and equal interest folks, it’s brilliant fun to disprove any ne’er do well, know-it-all! And I think so long as you find what the pains give you good gut instincts about, that may be all that matters to keep you going no matter how sluggish or perishing the journey may be. Ironically, I say this during a two hour train trek towards Lancaster! Luck!