I love life to it’s fullest. How can I not make that sound fake? Because I really am not being fake about that when I say that. There’s something refreshing about finally having a job under my belt. Like a legit occupation that I can rely to have some semblance of order if people don’t believe in these posts or if they don’t believe in the ultimate plan for my secret project in the works. No one has any real idea of how much I can expand on myself being that this is a larger picture to stare from with some sincerity. Perhaps there is still a built-in fear one has that maybe this isn’t a genuine truth. That maybe there’s something way more nefarious originating in the background. But how am I to tell this to be certain or worsened. It is a vague possibility that the serenity, aforementioned, could be short-lived and therefore futile to feel in it’s total entirety. But then what fun is there in not reaping the rewards if you’re ever so constantly afraid of what it might bring to the table? How is that a soluble way of living life? Not sure but not always unsure either. If it means being a bigger presence in the grander scope of things then so be it. There’s a bigger picture to view. And in viewing that bigger picture, I feel as if there’s not much to wonder when you are sure of yourself and the future that you can take yourself way more seriously. And yet serenity and peace and other qualifiers of such feel-good is almost automatically short-lived. There’s not much you can do about the past but there is plenty one can do about the future. And truth be told, you can take solace and a calm attitude towards knowing that you’ll be able to correct yourself in the oncoming situations. That before you lacked any conscious understanding of. And that’s not always great to have to admit how your serenity is contrived, since you can’t really be meaning something important to people who ignore the progress. It’s never easy. It’s never going to stay easy. It’s just going to get harder and harder to maintain like a tower of blocks that just do not want to stay still. It’s a headache. But it’s a headache you can grow to love if you just admit that there is room to grow instead of being down on yourself as if you have no excuse to breathe. You need to breathe. You’ll want to breathe. For the good of yourself and others in addition. Take hope in that. If you’ve royally screwed up? Write it down. Note your fault to those affected and maybe even make a note of how stupid you were to even bring it up when it wasn’t immediately seen as a problem. But you can’t tell what was a problem when you’re only wearing your own shoes all the time. There’s no peace in that if you always see yourself as a failure. No room to grow really if you view your short-lived existence as an always-successful entity. No… You’re a mistake that’s learning to stop reciprocating that. It’s the best thing I can do for myself and perhaps that sentiment is shared on a subconscious that isn’t necessary to have to state to the zeitgeist of folk that have already spent their own cumulative time mulling about this for hours on end. Is that your job? Is that your responsibility? Know from the get-go what is and ain’t your fault and maybe from there you can give off a more sincere essence. You reveal to yourself what it means to have made something of yourself or inversely what it means to have made nothing of your time on Earth. How can anyone retain a cool and calm collective after digesting that? That you have spent 60-90 years of breathing, sleeping and thinking doing nothing of a notable quality? A waste? Or a blessing that you didn’t do something worse? When you look at all the shit that you could’ve done wrong, and yet though you are as capable a monster as you are a human, the fact that you didn’t should by proxy make you a hero of sorts. But not everyone understands that. And it’s no one’s job to remind them so. Keep in mind, if there is no alarm, there may as well be no harm. But accountability is still a factor in all this. Never let that slip when you do speak after anticipation boils your excitement over with some minor gladness to be done.